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What If I Say Im Not Like The Others?


Anonymous Asked:
How do I make sure my gf doesn't catch me cheating on her?

My answer:

alphabitches:

ok follow these simple steps:

1. pick up the trash
2. step outta ur house
3. open the trash can
4. step into the trash can

good now u r where u belong congrats!!!



thymegaforeskin:

I almost died at this one



facts-i-just-made-up:

whale-summoner:

Behind the scenes of a pipe organ. Although most people, if they think about it at all, assume that the keys are linked directly to the pipes, and that pressing a key lets compressed air flow from a reservoir, through the appropriate pipe in order to sound the note, this is simply not the case. The keys actually send messages to the person sat behind the pipes (in this case, Mary Jones, 24, of Oklahoma), telling her which pipes to blow through. The compressed air actually runs the system of pneumatic tubes which deliver the messages to Mary. The official job title associated with the position is Organ Operator, although the keyboard players used to refer to it as “The Blow Job”. It was agreed by most organ keyboardists that Barry Chuffworth (1914-1989) gave the best Blow Jobs. However, so little is known about music these days that I’d you ask any five schoolboys who gives the best Blow Jobs, they will likely all agree that it’s your mum.

I am so ashamed I didn’t write this.


facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.


cubebreaker:

Artist Karla Mialynne shows us the tools she uses to create her series of incredibly realistic animal drawings.


estebanwaseaten:



I love my skin!


the-fandoms-are-cool:

owlmylove:

okay, HOLD THE FUCK UP. Do you see this shit? This is isn’t some lame-ass “choco brownie” snack cake. This is a goddamn COSMIC BROWNIE. Bitch, you eat this thing and the entire universe EXPLODES behinds your EYELIDS. This shit is so good, it’s named after the entire goddamn COSMOS. If you opened your lunch bag and saw this tucked in, bitch don’t deny the fact that you’d squeal like a little girl. Bring that shit to school, and everyone is your best friend.

(Even that creepy-ass kid who mixes Jello with his orange juice.)

tumblr needs to write advertisements

Hey secretly-tina-fey these make you fat


nightwings-ass:

i own that pinapple shirt that taylor is wearing!!!!! its from target!!!!





parksandrecthings:

THE GREATEST LESLIE LINE

heartofalifer:

SOMETIMES I GET SO FUCKING ANGRY WHEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM A GIRL BECAUSE MY MONEY HAS TO GO TO BUYING BRAS FOR THESE STUPID ORGANIC MILK BAGS AND PADS FOR MONTHLY UNWANTED SUBSCRIPTION OF LUCIFER’S WATERFALL LIKE WTF MAN WHY DONT THESE THINGS COME FREE WHEN MY UNWANTED PACKAGE IS GIVEN TO ME SERIOUSLY THO





Hello, There. I'm Ashleigh. Senior. 17.Wannabe YOUTUBER. This blog mainly consists of bands, YouTube, books and Disney, so you've got that to look forward to. Have Questions? Don't be afraid to ASK. LIFESCOUTS ~MY FACE~FOLLOW






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